Tуман путешествия

'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe...

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The thought of the day - remember the first two letters of the word Gospel - GO
Arthur and I spoke today on an interesting topic. How Muslim people are ready to defend their prophet's name even by means of weaponry. Why don't we Christians do the same?
Christ is neglected every single day - by those who say He is not God. By those who say - I don't need Him. By those who say - it's all but a fairy tale. Those who curse with His Holy Name.
I myself use to shy out when people asked whether I was a Christian. I felt embarassed that I believed in something I can't see. Yeah, in this world seeing in believing. Even my mьn thinks so.
"How can you believe in something yuo can't see?"
Oh, yes, mother, I can.
It's not even a question for me - whether God exists. Darwin's theory is all but a fairy tale to me.
If there's a creation, there's a Creator.
Recently I've read a book by Ray Comfort "How to Make an Atheist Backslide". Nathan gave it to me couple years ago. Took me a while to finally read it =) it opened my eyes.
I admit that I lack some knowledge in apologetics. But God has been teaching me a ton thru the hard times I've had. I've never felt this close to my Lord. I guess there was a reason for my suffering - to bring me on my knees and surrender my stubborn self to Him..
Devotional time is crucial if you want a healthy Christian life.
Staying in the Word and prayer is the only way to keep sanity in this world that is marching to hell along a wide road.
We are the salt of the earth and the light of the world. We need to go and shine where His light is needed.
The mission is possible!

As a Minnesota truck driver stops at a red light, a blonde catches up to him.
She knocks on his window and says, "Hi my name is Heather and you're losing part of your load".
The truck driver ignores her and keeps driving.
At the next red light, the blonde gets out of her car again, knocks on his window again and says, "Hi, my name is Heather and you keep losing part of your load".
Again the truck driver ignores her and drives off.
At the next red light the same thing happens; "Hi, my name is Heather and you're STILL losing part of your load".
The next red light comes up, and the trucker decides he's had enough. He runs over to the blonde's car, knocks on
her window and says, "Hi, my name is Kevin, it's winter in Minnesota and I'm driving the SALT TRUCK!"

An English professor wrote the words:

"A woman without her man is nothing"
on the chalkboard and asked his students to punctuate it correctly.

All of the males in the class wrote:
"A woman, without her man, is nothing."

All the females in the class wrote:
"A woman: without her, man is nothing."

Punctuation is powerful.

Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock.

Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home." The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she wants to buy it. The man tells her that he will sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news.

She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home." The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word."

Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left. She realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word. After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, "I want you to send her the word "comfortable." The telegraph operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word, "comfortable?" The brunette explains, "My sister's blonde. She'll read it slow." ("com-for-da-bul").

As a Minnesota truck driver stops at a red light, a blonde catches up to him.
She knocks on his window and says, "Hi my name is Heather and you're losing
part of your load".
The truck driver ignores her and keeps driving.
At the next red light, the blonde gets out of her car again, knocks on his window again and says, "Hi, my name is Heather and you keep losing part of your load".
Again the truck driver ignores her and drives off.
At the next red light the same thing happens; "Hi, my name is Heather and you're STILL losing part of your load".
The next red light comes up, and the trucker decides he's had enough.
He runs over to the blonde's car, knocks on her window and says, "Hi, my name is Kevin, it's winter in Minnesota and I'm driving the SALT TRUCK!"

REDNECK CHURCH?

You Might Be A Member Of A Redneck Church If...?

The finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because none of the embers know how to play one.

People ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5,000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em.

The pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering", then five guys and two women stand up.

Opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.

A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because, "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of."

The choir is known as the "OK Chorale."

In a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names in the church directory.

Baptism is referred to as "branding."

There is a special fund raiser for a new church septic tank.

Finding and returning lost sheep isn't just a parable.

High notes on the organ set the dogs on the floor to howling.

People think "rapture" is what you get when you lift something too heavy.

The baptismal font is a #2 galvanized washtub.

The choir robes were donated by (and embroidered with the logo from) "Billy Bob's Barbecue."

The collection plates are really hub caps from a '56 Chevy.



Amen, God Bless!

Cлифки в кафетерии "half&half" - наполовину молоко, наполовину слифки.
Надпись на баночке "fat free".
Не понимать :)